How to Do Less and Be More | by Prash Raval

Since 2021, I’ve chosen a ‘song of the year’ that helps me make sense of the year or aligns with a goal that I’m striving towards. It tends to happen organically - I’ll hear a song that feels like it was written for me, and sense that listening to it will keep me on a path I want to go down. 

This year, it’s ‘Calm Down’ by Rema (featuring Selena Gomez). For me, 2023 is all about calming down - settling down into the simpler life that I want to lead. I started this journey 3 years ago when I moved out of London into the countryside. But even last year, I found that I still craved the stimulation of a city kid in a fast-and-furious job. It was a dopamine addiction - I essentially needed stress to feel awake, alive, and well.

It became clear - changing the ‘external’ was only the first step. Changing the ‘internal’ would be the real challenge. I wanted to reduce my dopamine addiction and find the real me underneath it - the me that could be more fulfilled and content with less.

Cutting caffeine in 2023 has been a neat microcosm of the macro intent. At the start, I felt tired all the time. Now I see how that tired feeling is actually just the normal state of not being overstimulated. I can tell because when I do have a coffee now as a treat, I feel a buzz that I had simply stopped noticing. And now I can appreciate both the buzz (when I want some pep to support focused productivity) and the not-overstimulated steady state (where my mind is noticeably less noisy). 

‘Not-overstimulated’ is a general vibe I’ve been testing my comfort with in all aspects of life. It’s been uncomfortable, to say the least. Initially, my mind was screaming to me - “you should be doing more! Is your life even worth anything if you aren’t doing lots of things, and telling everyone that you’re doing them?” 

As I’ve started to calm down, I can quieten these voices with a content, somewhat smug, “Yes, it is”. As I knew deep down when I chose to move out of London, my soul is nourished with a relatively simple life - by doing things like home improvement, discovering local villages with my wife and going for walks in the countryside. 

If that makes me ‘boring’, so be it. But I’d add that I haven’t totally cut out the big nights out and the hustle-and-bustle of Central London. Like my caffeinated lattes, they’ve just become treats where I can appreciate the buzz and then step away back into my normal life.

Work has been another big aspect of this journey. In January, having left an intense job at a big tech company, I started a job at a smaller company more aligned with my passion for people. The job felt in many ways less ‘stimulating’ at the start - far fewer Zoom meetings, more realistic timelines on actions, and fewer projects at once. Indeed, this is a deliberate strategy by the company’s founders who believe that the best judgement is created when people have the time and space to breathe. I gave myself the time to adjust, and sought a more holistic sense of stimulation - of work that gave me self-sustaining energy, as opposed to a dopamine hit that took me from wired to ‘twired’. 

The other great part about this is that I’ve been able to think about how much of that stimulation I actually need and want from work, versus the rest of life. When you don’t need to keep giving yourself dopamine hits, you can be more strategic in where you seek stimulation across the days and weeks. 

Now I love to think about how I can fill my stimulation needs from life first, and work second. I plan for my mornings (pre-work) and evenings before I plan my days. I’ve started really looking forward to weekend activities, rather than dreading them because I’m actually burnt out. I’ve started to really appreciate my time with loved ones because I know that’s what’s feeding my soul.

We live in a fast-and-furious world. I would urge you to consider whether the things you are doing are actually energising you and bringing you joy, or are simply keeping your body going with dopamine hits. If you’re constantly feeling ‘twired’ or burnt out, it’s likely to be the latter. 

In which case I tell you this - it is OK to slow things down. It is OK to do less and be more. It is OK. 

Choose a job or role that doesn’t demand you to sprint all the time. Have more weekends without plans, where you can choose what to do in the moment (and where that might sometimes be very little). Take time to savour the little things. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but in time you will start to feel calmer, more content, and more fulfilled.

Prash Raval is a Multiverse Project Management alum based in Oxfordshire, UK. Here’s more about him:

“After an unhappy start to my career as an investment banker in London, I now find myself running a bridalwear business with my wife, living in the countryside, and continually crafting healthier work-life habits. I love to write - to discover myself and to inspire others to do the same, with the hope we can each tap into our greatest potential to make the world a bit better. I also host the ‘Work, Life, No Balance’ podcast, where I seek to help people find work-life balance in today’s always-connected world.”