Why I’m Embracing Bad Mornings | by Katie Salt-Martin
It’s 5 am and I’ve been jolted out of a deep, dreamless sleep by the blare of my alarm. Groggily, I fumble in the dark to silence it, squinting against the glare of my phone screen. It’s Tuesday, a working day, so snoozing is not an option. I have four hours before I’m expected at my desk, and there’s a lot to get through.
Trying To Have A Good Morning
Swiping away notifications from every other app demanding my attention, I choose a guided meditation and focus on my breath. Clearing my mind, I listen to the soothing voice and… ARGH! My head jerks out of a microsleep, and I resign myself to failure here. Reflection abandoned, I need a cup of tea.
I uncurl myself from the soft, warm duvet and pad downstairs to put the kettle on, shushing the internal criticism of my caffeine consumption. I’ve been meaning to make smoothies and juices but haven’t had the time. “What you mean is, you haven’t prioritised it,” I chide. I set a reminder to buy fresh fruit later and squeeze in some basic Spanish practice until the click of the kettle interrupts my focus. Steam. Pour. Go.
I grab my gym leggings, carefully laid out last night to save precious minutes this morning, and pull them on while the tea is brewing. I gulp a mouthful – too hot, still – as I select a carefully curated playlist and adjust the settings on my fitness watch. I’m exhausted, but I know that movement is so important, and perhaps I can do my affirmations while I run?
As I rush to the door, I catch myself in the mirror: bleary-eyed, burnt tongue and heart racing in the pitch dark. I take a long, hard look at myself and wonder whether this is what a ‘good’ morning should feel like…
What If ‘Good’ Isn’t Actually Good?
Now, looking back at those countless ‘good’ mornings, I realise they were not good mornings at all. I often woke, startled by my alarm, and felt like I was dragging myself through treacle to start the day. It wasn’t practical for me to sit in meditative silence while my husband, irked at being awoken several hours before he needed to be up, groaned and pulled the covers back over his head.
I struggled to focus on emptying my mind because I was plagued by the need to remember. I don’t just mean the birthday cards to send, the dinner reservations to make, or the lightbulb to change in the bathroom – the little things we weave into the fabric of our lives. The things I couldn’t forget were the expectations of what I was supposed to be doing: what more I had to slot into the spare moments of the week to demonstrate that I was succeeding. I was overwhelmed by the constant reminders to look after myself, to find time to rest, relax, and recharge while also working on self-improvement, regular exercise, and building my cultural capital. It was exhausting.
And so I stopped.
What If ‘Bad’ Is Actually Good?
I started to embrace bad mornings. Now, I set my alarm for when I want to get up. Sometimes, that’s early; sometimes it’s just before I’ll be late. I have a cup of tea (or two!) and drink it at the right temperature. Sometimes, I’ll read – or I might scroll through social media. Sometimes, I’ll practise my Spanish, and sometimes I’ll skip DuoLingo altogether. Sometimes, I’ll go for a run, and sometimes I’ll enjoy a bowl of Coco Pops and not feel the slightest bit of guilt. Because self-care isn’t about meeting other people’s expectations. It’s about doing what you need to do to feel better. And by looking after yourself properly – which means listening to what you need, not what others think you need – you’re setting yourself up for goodness that extends well past a morning. You’re setting yourself up for a good life.
So, what do you think? Do you agree? And is your morning good or bad?
Katie Salt-Martin is a Data Literacy apprentice at Multiverse based in Manchester, UK, and is writing for the Apprentice Lens. Here’s more about her:
'Born and raised in Birmingham, Katie spent 15 years in London softening her accent and accruing debt before moving to The North to pursue the lofty ideals of countryside walks, farmers’ markets, and cheaper housing. She aims to write blogs that, at the very least, help you pass the time on a dull Tuesday afternoon. If she makes you think, laugh, or give something a go – well, that’s a bonus.'