Overcoming My Mathemaphobia | by Michael Park

Are You Afraid of the Big Bad Calculator?

Not before the moment that I put myself in front of this blank sheet of paper had I ever really contemplated the fears that I have. I don’t suffer from arachnophobia, though it would not be a surprise as I’m sure many of those reading would scream at even the thought of an eight-legged friend making an appearance on these pages. And though I did go a little jelly-legged looking over the rocky edges of Hellvelyn as I made my way ever-so-slowly towards its cloudy peak back in 2017, I can’t say I suffer from acrophobia. But Mathemaphobia? 

Mathematical anxiety is most commonly experienced by schoolchildren, who, struggling with rote learning and exam pressure, can experience all the symptoms of a diagnosable phobia, everything from sweating, trembling, and hot and cold flushes to nausea and even panic attacks. I’m fortunate to have never experienced the symptoms of mathematical anxiety during my school years; in fact, I was a fairly apt student. I wonder now if this is only because I was actually able to avoid the kind of maths that I felt I would have struggled with - the kind of maths that, even in my young mind, precipitated thoughts of future anxiety and failure. 

Getting Back Into Numbers

I only recently started working with numbers, having dedicated my education to the arts by gaining degrees in Film and Television. I supported myself through these years with work on the frontlines of customer service, and I was lucky to find a role fundraising on behalf of various midsize arts organisations such as Citizens Theatre Glasgow and Bristol Beacon, where I could channel my passion for the arts into raising money for these vital spaces. This led me to Help Musicians, where I was given the chance to work behind the scenes for the UK’s leading music charity. In the first few months, I was given the chance to analyse the data we have on people who leave gifts in memory of a loved one, with a view to improving our relationships with this very special group of supporters. I took on the work willingly, under my own steam, but I had not done anything close to statistics work since I left GCSE Maths behind, 15 years ago. It was like jumping straight into the ice pool on a hot summer’s day.  

I’m sure by now you are wondering why I would take on such an endeavour, why would I put myself in a place which my 16-year-old self would run a million miles from? The honest answer is actually very simple: I was given the opportunity, and I was in the right place in my life to take it. What I want to put across in this article is not so much why, which will always be so many different reasons for so many different people, but how? How was I able to take on this challenge and overcome my mathemaphobia?

Choose Life. Choose A Growth Mindset

I started working at Help Musicians before starting my apprenticeship at Multiverse, and it’s the groundwork that I put in during my first few months in the team that led me to have this fantastic Data Literacy/Data & Insights for Business Decisions learning opportunity - but my start at Help Musicians was also the first time in many years that I encountered my dormant mathemaphobia. 

I remember first reading the job description for the Supporter Engagement Assistant at Help Musicians, seeing that data was going to play a key part in the role, and feeling very insecure about my low level of experience with data. I have a very strong track record as a fundraiser, and I have a genuine passion for music; I’ve played guitar and other instruments since I was 9 years old and I spent most of my youth playing live shows in pubs and clubs across the South in various different bands. Yet, despite the role being an obvious great fit, I was very on the fence about even putting in the application. 

At that moment I had a choice: either look elsewhere or come face-to-face with the potential reality of working every day with numbers. I chose to be positive about the possibility; I chose to see it as an opportunity to grow and develop. At Multiverse, it’s called having a growth mindset. 

“Growth mindset describes a way of viewing challenges and setbacks. People who have a growth mindset believe that even if they struggle with certain skills, their abilities aren’t set in stone. They think that with work, their skills can improve over time.”- Amanda Morrin, understood.org.

In the interview, I chose to be open and honest about my lack of experience, hoping that by showing enthusiasm, by expressing the will to learn about data, Help Musicians would give me a chance. I took their ‘Yes’ as the affirmation I needed to feel good about the new direction my life was heading in: I was going to be working with data!

It Takes a Village to Raise a… Data Analyst

Once I was in the Help Musicians office, the chances to work with numbers came thick and fast. My line manager asked me to check data sets for errors, the Individual Giving manager asked me to pull simple reports from our CRM into Excel, and I was using Excel to merge data for mailing thank you letters. Before I knew it, I was manipulating data every day. I was either going to keep up or get snowed under, so in these early days, I continued to rely heavily on my growth mindset. I was never too proud to ask questions, I made sure that I understood each process thoroughly, and I always asked my colleagues to check my work – I still do. Starting with these simpler processes and making sure I felt confident about them was key to my confidence in taking on bigger challenges. 

I feel very lucky that during my time at Help Musicians, I was never rushed with my work. Maths is detail-oriented, and the answers need to be correct, so if you are part of a team, everyone should feel confident that they have been given enough time to do the work correctly.

Tips On How To Take The Plunge (Into The Cold Cold World Of Maths)

The Fundraising team at Help Musicians gave me the space to think and the time to do the work correctly, and as a result, I was able to produce an in-depth analysis of ‘In Memory’ giving. I reached out for help from colleagues from the wider team, including the Finance team, and even the Chief Executive weighed in with some tips for Excel. The work I presented enabled me to make the case for a more robust stewardship plan, and I am now leading on this, which has led me to further training around this very special group of supporters, including bereavement training, along with the chance to learn more about data – which is why I’m here able to write this article.

If you are worried about mathemaphobia and feel you might be experiencing maths anxiety, you are definitely not alone. 

The video below by Dr. Thomas Hunt explains some of the symptoms of mathematical anxiety and gives some really valuable pointers on you might alleviate them: 

Here are some of my main takeaways:

1. Do what you can to feel relaxed. Breathing exercises are really useful, as is taking regular breaks.
2. Try to change your mindset. Relying on a growth mindset has been key for me!
3. Don’t compare yourself to others. My brother has a degree in physics and is a data scientist for a computer programming company, there’s just no competition!
4. Don’t rush yourself. 
5. Be proud of small wins. 

Don’t Feel Like An Imposter, Have A Growth Mindset When It Comes To Maths

“The pure mathematician, like the musician, is a free creator of his world of ordered beauty.”  - Bertrand Russell, British philosopher.

Even while in one of the workshops during the Data Literacy/Data & Insights for Business Decisions Level 3 apprenticeship I still feel imposter syndrome, especially when I see other people in the room who have far more experience than me. I think of my past experiences with stifling workplaces, and I feel lucky because the work environment at Help Musicians has allowed me to develop my maths skills, giving me support and building my confidence every step of the way. But more than anything else I feel most proud of the growth mindset that has enabled me to take the opportunity to work with maths and build it into a positive part of my daily working life.

Everyone can approach maths with a growth mindset, so if you are confronted with a computer screen filled with rows and columns of data and the task of making sure all the right numbers are in the right place, take a deep breath, know that there is always something you can turn to (whether it’s an online resource or a trusted colleague), and know that you got this. You don’t need to be afraid. 

Michael Park is a Level 3 Data Apprentice at Multiverse, UK, and has been writing for the Apprentice Lens. Here’s more about him: 

“Hi, I'm Michael, and I'm doing the Data Literacy/Data & Insights for Business Decisions Level 3 Apprenticeship. I have 5 years of fundraising experience and am now part of the fundraising team at Help Musicians, the UK's leading charity for professional musicians. I love being creative and when I'm not in the office you'll find me making films, playing music, writing, and always travelling!”