Discovering My Passion to Leave an Impact | by C.J. Lyles
Content Warning: This blog discusses suicide which some readers might find distressing. See the bottom of this blog for support resources.
Outside the realm of your family, friends, and hobbies, have you found your passion?
A year ago I was manic and contemplating that same question repeatedly. I was unsure of where I was going and what I wanted to do. Life kept kicking me while I was down without a trace of letting up. In the back of my mind, I would always remind myself that I couldn't give up but I was so lost. Upon trial and tribulation, I have found meaning in my life.
I’m a Digital Marketing apprentice on the Measurement & Attribution team with Google based in Atlanta, GA. If you were to ask me a year ago where I’d be, Google wouldn’t even be in my vocabulary. Before the apprenticeship, I was in insurance for four years. Every day felt as if I was on the Truman Show. Same shift, same conversations, and stuck in a constant state of contentment but always feeling empty. Whenever I had free time, I’d mostly stay to myself in my room playing video games or watching my favorite shows. I felt out of place in society because I was so unsure of what I wanted to do with my life.
Fast forward, I met someone who gave my life meaning. She was a beautiful soul that brought life into every room she entered. I encouraged her to go after her dreams, to see how much the world loved her, and to never be afraid to stand up for what she believed in. We encouraged each other every step of the way to always push forward. Taking care of her filled me with gratitude and hope. Although I only knew her for six months, her mother told me I left more of an impact on her life than people who knew her their entire lives.
Despite my support, she took her own life due to past trauma. She thanked me for being in her life and told me to never give up. I blamed myself for a long time and lost sight of who I was. Spiraling out of control, I quit my job and gave up on myself. Eventually, I had a talk with my mom about the whole situation which changed my perspective on everything. My mom said, “Why are you still blaming yourself, honey?” You gave her a full life in such a short time.” And the last words she said to me were, “You’re a gift.” I repeat those words to myself sometimes when I self-reflect. I thought maybe I do leave an impact on people I meet.
After that talk, it still took me several months to pick myself back up. At one point I wanted to just disappear like a ghost, move to another state or country and start over. Until one day my father came to me in a dream. Not much was said, but his presence reminded me of who I am and what I need to do. I reached deep within myself and knew I had so much to give. So I decided to go back to school to finish my Bachelor's degree and explore opportunities in Digital Marketing. Upon my research, I found the Google Apprenticeship Program.
Before starting at Google I was anxious about the unknown. Not knowing what I wanted to do or what I had to offer to the apprenticeship. Until I realized there’s beauty within the unknown. Not knowing what was next terrified me to my core. But once at Google, I witnessed my own evolution. I came from a past of uncertainty and grew into an optimistic man who wants to leave an impact on the world. This is my time to test my willpower, explore my creativity, and discover my passion.
C.J. Lyles is a US-based Digital Marketing at Multiverse and is writing for the Apprentice Lens as part of the Blogging Team. Here’s more about him:
"Hi everyone! My name is C.J., I am a Digital Marketing Apprentice at Google based in Atlanta, GA. I enable scaled impact for the Retail sector and deliver insights at scale for Retail clients. I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and be a part of a like-minded and creative team. Developing better writing and communication skills while sharing my personal story will be the most fulfilling experience. Writing has never been my forte but I do a plethora of self-reflection and decided I can transfer that to paper to possibly connect with others. My dream is to write a book on my life experiences to share with the world. I look forward to learning from you all and I hope I am able to inspire you with my writing."
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Please note we are not an emergency service. If you or someone else is at risk or in a crisis, please contact:
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