Give Yourself Grace: How to push through uncertainty and find yourself | by C.J Lyles

Please give me some time. This is all new to me. I don’t know where to begin or where I’m going to end up, but we're here now.

I’m here to share with you that it’s possible to find your path and yourself.

Maybe you can relate? You’re so hard on yourself when everyone else isn't. You don’t see what everyone else sees, and it’s hard to move forward. 

Here are the three phases of facing your path:

Uncertainty

You’ll first go through the phase of uncertainty. During this phase, you’ll be unsure of what approach to take or what you wish to do at all. Where you’re at in your professional and personal life isn’t quite where you want to be. Sometimes you will feel lost, as if you’re in a constant daydream. To power through this phase, you will first need to sit down and reflect on what your passions are. What would you like to achieve for your family, friends, and most importantly, yourself?

I went through this phase repeatedly because I wasn’t sure of what direction I should go. At one point, I wanted to move out of the country and start a new life for myself. I kept thinking I needed a clean slate and believed I was far behind. One day, I sat myself down and reflected on all the good I bring into this world. I thought about what drives me each day, what I want to accomplish for myself while staying true to who I am.

The most important thing for you to come to terms with is that you’re your own person. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You bring something special to everyone and every facet of life. It’s going to take time for you to figure it out, and that’s okay. Understand that you’re unique and have so much to offer to this world.

Acceptance

This phase is for when you’re ready to face your fears. You are no longer uncertain about where you want to go and are ready to create a plan for yourself. You understand that the world is vast and full of possibilities, full of beautiful minds, and you are one of them. You no longer look back to the past or think about the could've, would've, or should've scenarios.

Would you like to know how to thrive in this phase? Practice letting go. Yesterday is no longer important, and tomorrow is a new day. Today is your time to shine. I had an epiphany during this time. It was the weirdest occurrence. I was past being uncertain, but I still felt stuck. That’s when my mind started playing scenes in my head like a movie that hadn't been released. I was seeing moments with my family and friends, picking up old hobbies like drawing and music, finding my career path, traveling the world, etc. I accepted where I was in life but concluded that there’s so much more to look forward to.

Action

This is the most crucial stage—taking the right steps to move forward. By this phase, we’ve moved past the doubt and accepted what we need to do. Now, we put the plan into action. For instance, for me, I wanted to change careers, go back to school, and develop myself creatively. I first researched different fields that would help me develop and hone my relationship-building and communication skills. I love interacting with people creatively, so I wanted to find a path that suited me the most. Then, I looked for schools that were affordable and allowed me to develop technical skills. I decided I wanted to have a nice balance between soft, durable, and technical skills under my belt.

From there, I looked up resources for counseling to get out of my comfort zone and release anything else that was holding me back. Taking these actions has enabled me to think better about my place in life and realize there’s no rush. Every opportunity, big or small, whether it’s at work or in my personal life, I seize it. I have goals that I want to achieve, and I will not dwell on the past. 

I want to say to anyone out there who can relate, please be patient with yourself and give yourself grace.

How did you find your path in life? Who or what motivated you?  Please share this blog with anyone who is struggling to find their path.

C.J. Lyles is a US-based Digital Marketing at Multiverse and is writing for the Apprentice Lens as part of the Blogging Team. Here’s more about him:

Hi everyone! My name is C.J, I am a Digital Marketing Apprentice at Google based in Atlanta, GA. I enable scaled impact for the Retail sector and deliver insights at scale for Retail clients. I wanted to get out of my comfort zone and be a part of a like-minded and creative team. Developing better writing and communication skills while sharing my personal story will be the most fulfilling experience. Writing has never been my forte but I do a plethora of self reflection and decided I can transfer that to paper to possibly connect with others. My dream is to write a book on my life experiences to share with the world.  I look forward to learning from you all and I hope I am able to inspire you with my writing.