Why Not Fitting In Is Your Greatest Superpower | by Debra Charles

I didn’t fit in at school. I didn’t fit in anywhere. I didn’t know I was adopted or that I had dyslexia. Society shrouded them in shame. It turns out that ‘not fitting in’ gave me a superpower. Through the kindness of others, I used that superpower to build an SME that, over the past 25 years, has made a difference to 64 million people. I’m proof that everyone is unique, everyone’s story matters, and everyone’s voice needs to be heard for all our futures.
 
How We Live And Work Is Changing - The Future of Humanity Needs Your Uniqueness

Without Your Uniqueness, the Future of Humanity is in Peril: Synchronise your watches; it’s 2049. The Androids rule the streets. We’re doing the jobs that they didn’t want. The air is putrid. Fear fills the airwaves. Humanity as we know it is fading away.

There is Another Way: Be Your Unique Self. The World Needs You. It’s 2049, and we are here today to hatch a plan to save humanity. We are strong because we value human uniqueness. We are strong because we all have a voice, and together, we can harness the power of Android and make a meaningful difference for the future of our planet and humanity. 

In the 90s Leaders Ostracised Uniqueness: For All Our Futures Leaders Must Harness The Power of Your Uniqueness.

In the 90s, my career started with organisations that valued employees for their hard skills: You were shamed into not fitting in if you didn't blend in.  Thankfully, over the past two decades, organisations have realised the importance of soft skills and inclusivity. As we move toward 2030, soft-skill-intensive occupations will grow significantly. Essential soft skills include creative and critical thinking, problem-solving, and kindness. And that’s great news for those of us who don’t feel we fit in. 
                 

1950s style Human helping an Android learn how to be human: Source: DALL•E 

Here Are The Top 5 Lessons that Have Turned ‘Not Fitting in’ into Making a Meaningful Difference in Society:

1. Your Hand of Kindness Could Save Someone’s Life.
2. If Someone Opens a Door For You, Don’t Stand in Your Own Way.
3. If You Have a Purpose, You Can Overcome Anything. 
4. The Best Plans Come From Starting at the End and Work Backwards.
5. Be kind to yourself.

1)Your Hand of Kindness Could Save Someone’s Life.
When I was 11, for reasons I do not know, my mum hit me around the back of my head with a metal-edged mop. I felt blood running down my neck and back. At that very moment, I felt frightened and alone. I ran into the darkness of the night. We lived in the Shropshire countryside. Little did I know that the army was on manoeuvres. I hid in a bush, shivering cold, crying, and now wondering how to go home. At that very moment, along with a happy dog, a hand of kindness came through the bush toward me. That hand of kindness saved my life and since that time, I have always thoughtfully acted if I felt someone was in need. It led me to co-found the Kindness Movement, which has helped over 50,000 children recognise the value of kindness as thoughtful action.
 
2) If Someone Opens a Door For You, Don’t Stand in Your Own Way.
In my early twenties, I was interviewed by Richard Blackburn, the Chief Commercial Officer at a prestigious Robotics company in America. I bagged a job as a European Marketing Coordinator. A job I was totally underqualified for. The role required languages and previous experience in robotics working with global organisations. I had none of those requirements. However, it did require creative thinking and adaptability, and I have those in plentiful supply. Richard handed me the kindness of believing in me. I remember feeling that imposter feeling. Richard opened up a door to possibilities. I took a deep breath and ran through that door; it led me to work for Apple in the early days of Steve Jobs's reign. 

3) If You Have a Purpose, You Can Overcome Anything.
With “mop gate“ a distant memory, along with my brother Lawrence and my Mum and Dad, we grew together as a family. Then tragedy struck. In my early 30s, both my Mum and Dad became terminally ill and devastatingly, they lost their lives.

I had spent most of my life getting my Mum‘s approval. Now, I felt rudderless, alone, and without a purpose. One thing that struck me is that life is short, and you must make it count. So, with complete naivety, in 1998, I set up a business called Novacroft. Novacroft is a customer experience transformation company and, over the past 25 years, has helped 64 million people get the support they need when and how they need it. From its foundation, I made it my purpose to bring amazing people together. To equip them with new skills and confidence to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others. Seeing team members thrive means everything to me. I believe life is a journey, not a destination. It’s what you do along the way that counts. I have overcome many challenges in business and life because I have drawn strength from my purpose. 

4) The Best Plans Come From Starting at the End and Working Backwards.
Life can get in our way. You just move forward. However, if you know where you want to get to, you’re more likely to achieve what matters to you. I created a model that works well for me. Here’s how it works: find somewhere relaxing and pick a moment. So, let's say two years from now. Now, place yourself in that moment. Where are you? Reflect on where you are and look at what you've achieved and what you've overcome. What is your day like, and what are you most proud of? Once you've created a vision of your future day, embellish it to make it yours. Then you look at it and imagine a line from that time. Working backwards from your future day, identify the steps you need to take to make it a reality.

5) Be kind to yourself. 
Take time to breathe. You can’t care for others if you are not kind to yourself. If you hear your unconscious voice speaking unkindly to you, tell it to ‘do one’. And take this prescription: Tell yourself, “I am amazing”, say it ten times a day, and shout it out loud.

Debra Charles is a Level 3 Data Literacy/ Data & Insights for Business Decisions apprentice at Multiverse, based in London, UK. She’s writing for the Apprentice Lens as part of the Blogging Team. Here’s more about Debra: My mission is to inspire others to believe in themselves and seize the possibilities that await us. Together, we can channel our unique strengths and talents to ensure a brighter future for our planet and humanity.