How Ancient Philosophy Improved my Confidence - Ollie Bridgman

Ollie Bridgman is a Digital Marketing apprentice at ForwardPMX and is writing for the Community Blogging Team.

From pouring pints & washing cars, to working with some of the biggest brands on the planet.

Thanks to Multiverse's help, I was able to get a digital marketing apprenticeship within weeks of completing my profile.

I aim to write articles that provide you with actionable takeaways, from professional development & growing confidence, to mental health tips & how to take care of yourself

In the past decade or so, mental health awareness has become increasingly prominent. 

Schools, companies, governments and society as a whole have started to prioritise mental well-being, which is a great step in the right direction.

However, there is still a long way to go. From ensuring adequate support for anyone who seeks it, to people feeling more comfortable in speaking up, we can all work towards helping others, as well as ourselves.

And so, I had the idea to write an article highlighting a struggle of mine in recent years, with the aim of helping you with any struggles you may have.

My school years

I was a pretty average schoolboy - quiet in class, average grades, enjoyed sports, had a few mates… 
you get the idea. 

I never thought much of it; I was always on the shy side, and I suppose I liked it that way. I got to play football with my mates, enjoyed a few subjects, and that was that. 

Despite this, growing up in a school environment tends to be tough on most, if not every student. You’re in your teens, having fun is what you’re supposed to do. 

However, I feel there is a lot more going on than we may think.

Don’t get me wrong - school was full of fun. New experiences, meeting new friends, finding your passions etc. I have many good memories of it. 

But, I would constantly be in my head, all day, every day. Overthinking every interaction possible, what others may think of me, how I think I should behave rather than just being myself. 

Feeling overwhelming amounts of panic over small incidents, as if my life was ruined, all because I was late to a lesson or embarrassed myself in class.

I would like to reiterate - this is pretty normal for a school kid. Most of us cared too much about what others thought of us. And embarrassing yourself is inevitable at any age in life. 

However, I’m focusing on how these short moments can have larger effects.

Thinking back on myself in school, I would guess I had developed some sort of anxiety. Like I said, being shy or anxious is natural, but that can easily grow to overwhelming amounts.

I knew I couldn’t go on with my life feeling like this.

So, how did I overcome it?

Stoicism

The Google definition of stoicism is:

“A school of Hellenistic philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium in Athens in the early 3rd century BC. 

Stoicism teaches the development of self-control and fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive emotions; the philosophy holds that becoming a clear and unbiased thinker allows one to understand the universal reason.”

That is, of course, very accurate. 

However, I like to think of it another way:

“Understanding we have no control over the external, but complete control of the internal.”

How did this help me build confidence?

To put it simply, it helped me realise how I react to a situation is separate from the situation itself. 

In terms of anxiety, this is an internal emotion / thought process, but it was only there because I put so much stress on the outcomes of external events.

Whilst this sounds idealistic, it’s pretty easy. 
(I’ll list some resources at the bottom of this article)

Here’s an example:

One Tuesday morning, Stacy decided to take her dogs on a walk over the park before work.

It ends up becoming a horrible morning - it pours with rain just as she arrives in the park, her coat rips on a branch, she slips over and her clothes get filthy.

Sounds like she might be in a bad mood now right?

Not at all. Stacy takes a second to think about her morning and decides to shrug it off. Maybe even chuckle about it. 

Now this is a very minor example of misfortune. Much worse things happen to us - losing a loved one, relationship troubles, a friend mistreating you, getting shouted at by your boss, getting mugged. The list could go on and on, but I’m sure you get what I’m saying.

The majority of these things that happen to us are inevitable. It’s incredibly rare, if not impossible, to go through life without adversity. 
However, this doesn’t mean you have to let these events dictate how you behave, how you think, how you react. Destructive emotions fire up in tense situations - but don’t let them control you.

Lastly, it’s important to know that stoicism isn’t being emotionless. The stoics were very much in touch with their emotions and understood it was important to do so, in order to take care of yourself and understand how you feel about things. 

I’d recommend reading more on this, as the Stoics themselves explain what I’m trying to get across better than I can.

I hope this inspires you to learn more about stoicism. 

Here are a few resources to get you started if you’re interested:

The Daily Stoic - Podcast & Instagram
Meditations - Marcus Aurelius - Book
The Obstacle is the way - Ryan Holiday - Book